My mom uses my netflix and all she watches is movies starting Kevin Costner…
I really should take I’m on a boat off of my iPod because all I want to do right now is run through this airport yelling “IM ON A BOAT MOTHERFUCKER DONT YOU EVER FORGET”
But I also want to be allowed on my flight so…
My mom doesn’t support my hilarious plans because she says they are “deranged” #whatever
This was a mistake. I want to go home.
Warped tour has lots of tents for you to meet bands but there should be a tent for attractive band boys to meet me
Sister: “oh my old boyfriend has a new girlfriend now”
Mom: “oh really? Already?”
Really? Did you forget that she started dating someone else after a week
My mom saw the pic of me with the summer set and thought they were my friends and told me I should try and date them. I wish.
If I hear another coworker say “I heard you had a fun night on Friday”….
expectations kill me everytime
just so you know the other night I was at a restaraunt and I overheard someone at another table say a wrong fact about one of my favorite bands.
It took everything I had to not to get up, go over there, and correct them.
FYI twenty one pilots has three albums, not one